I'm not gonna rest

That line just played in a song I'm listening to and reminded me of how I live my life. This past week I have just been passing out in the middle of the day. Other than being sick, I think it's my body telling me to take a chill pill and slow down. I fill my time with people. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but I'm beginning to enjoy my own personal down time. I like to have time to wind-down and spend useless time exploring random stuff on the internet (that's my way of not admitting to too much facebook).

It's been awhile since I sat down to write/type this thing. I took my YL kids to summer camp at Frontier Ranch in Buena Vista, Colorado! It was one of the most fun weeks of my life! We got to rappel, do a ropes course, go on an amazing swing, ride horses! I got to spend some much needed time away from my daily schedule. It's amazing the things you think about when you aren't continuously running on your mind-numbing schedule. I had some great time with Jesus and getting to know my girls even deeper and just learning a lot. I see Jesus in a much more realistic, almost tangible way now. He's so real. It's awesome. I feel like I gained some independence and confidence with being alone, which I also love. It's nice to get to just talk about your crap and hear about other people's and realize we're all in this together. It's a cheesy, yet uniting feeling.

Work has been interesting. Along with my 2 boys, I now am doing the summer camp at S.E.E.K. on Mon and Wed. It's pretty chaotic to say the least. It's challenging to get to know a whole classroom of kids while also trying to get to know a new kiddo more in depth in a very noisy, constantly moving environment. I'm definitely learning a lot at least. I'm no longer positive that my career will be in this area. I've been pretty disheartened lately by some kiddos and I just don't know if this is the place for me. Luckily I don't need to make that decision too soon. Only by the end of next Fall when I send out grad school applications. GAH.

That is the next big thing. The GRE. Ew. It's nearly impossible to get into study mode in the summer. However, when I was studying yesterday, I actually did find the material semi-interesting....which is kind of sad, but whateve. I'm comfortable in my nerdiness. Anyway, I'll put up some pictures from camp when I get the energy/time/will power to upload my pictures. Until then, I'm going to finish reading the 4th Twilight book: Breaking Dawn. I hate that I ever even read the 1st one...but they are just so dang good.

summer

I love that there have been brief storms (if you can call them that) the past day or so. I love when the news talks about the "crazy storm last night." Arizona is wussy. I did enjoy the slightly pouring rain that only existed for about a square mile of Arcadia. I'll take what I can get.

Lately when I've had the what are you studying/what do you want to do with your life conversation, I've felt like my "I want to work with kids with Autism and special needs" response seems very Miss America-ish and I need to end my explanation with "and world peace" or something. It's not really a saves-the-day type of job though. It's all about the little battles and the little achievements and definitely never leaves me feeling very Miss America glamorous at the end of the day. It's not something I really chose so I could feel great about myself or have others think I'm a saint. It's kind of just where my life lead me and I can't imagine myself doing anything else.

Also lately I have been very introspective, trying to figure out what I'm about and who I am and all that jazz. I've gotten stuck on the crap I exhibit in my life. It's been extremely hard to look it in the face and recognize that it's part of me. It's hard to take a step out of it and see the bigger picture. When I start to think about all the other crap Christ has already healed me from over the past few years, I realize this is just the next step in Christ changing me and my heart into who He created me to be. I don't care how cheesy and cliche that sounds. It's the truth. When I keep my mind on that, it's kind of an exciting challenge that I know will continue to change me over time.

Yay for summer. It's nice to finally slow down a bit (emphasis on "a bit").

Open up your plans, and damn you're free!

Well, this semester has come to an end. I've never been more thankful for that. I feel so relaxed that i don't have to shove everything into limited amounts of time.

I got to hear Obama speak at commencement last night! The heat was the worst, but we survived. It was really inspirational to hear Obama speak. He is a phenomenal speaker and definitely made me want to go out and save the world within my boundaries and abilities. I've never been able to hear a sitting president speak, so that was quite a treat. It's pretty crazy that my boyfriend and a few of my close friends graduated. I feel like I should be 16 or something...not having friends who are graduating, getting married, getting real jobs. I'm glad I have another year of undergrad (well, sort of glad).

There's a lot to look forward to this summer even though I have absolutely nothing planned besides work (which I don't even have scheduled yet). I just look forwad to spending time with people again without strict time restraints. Yay for that.

Something I'm really excited about: This Friday I get to take part in an IEP (individualized education plan) assessment for one of my kiddos. A group of us are meeting to dicuss his development and decide what looks best for him for kindergarten next year. I'm really really excited to take part in something like this. A main reason I want to be in this field is to prepare kids for school and set them up to have a successful career in a mainstream school with little extra help.

I'm over these triple digit temperatures. I've lived in AZ for 21.5 years and it still makes me crazy every summer. Hopefully only one more year of this.

The end is in sight.

11 more days of school. I can't imagine what life will be like without the weight of articles that need reading, a thesis prospectus that needs revising, and statistics homework that needs to be finished. I think I will feel fresh and my eyes will not feel heavy everyday. This summer looks very uneventful thus far, but I'm actually looking forward to that. I'm looking forward to not having to fight to stay awake anymore. Woo!!

I thought I had insightful things to say right now, but I'm too tired.