Life Update 1: The Dogs

Over the next few days {or whatever it ends up being}, I am going to post pictures with some life updates simply because I feel like it's compulsory after being absent for two years.

My favorite part of my life--and the aspect that takes up the most time/patience/money--is our two dogs.

Connor adopted a dog a year and a half ago. His name is Edward Norton--a beagle, pug, dachshund mix who is about 4 years old. He loves any small prey animal--squirrels, birds, flies, anything that moves. He loves people and loves attention. He will happily jump onto anyone's lap and practically shakes his hind end off when people come over.

He absolutely loves to cuddle and even gets to sleep in the bed under the covers in the winter. He has a lot of stylish clothing--puffy vest pictured below--and even supports the Spurs with his collar. For the record, Edward is not very photogenic, so he's about 50 times cuter in real life.

I adopted Russell almost 5 months ago.  I've decided {with some help from google image} that he is a Beagle & Manchester Terrier mix. He's about 18 months old and can very much act like a puppy. He has much more energy than Edward and often spins in circles for a few minutes when he wakes up each morning. He prefers to chew his toys instead of getting pets--his favorite toy is pictured below.

I swear he's just now finding out that being pet can be enjoyable, so he's starting to enjoy humans more. He LOVES to drink water--especially when he comes from the toilet {...we're working on that}. He's also much less stubborn than Edward, so I've been able to teach him many more tricks over the past few months. 

We try to take Russell and Edward almost everywhere we go and have found many restaurants around Seattle that will allow dogs. However, Russell is still learning to not try to kill other dogs when he's on his leash....  I often find myself walking by shouting over the barking, "I promise he's really friendly!"

After a few territorial spats over the first month or so, they've become good friends. Russell is definitely the annoying little brother, but Edward tolerates him well.  I swear he misses Edward when he's not around! I could post dog pictures for days, but I'll leave you with this one--Russell posing showing his Husky support with his UW tag. 

Alyssa's Wedding Guestbook

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9th Grade: The months and years after State

As I reacquaint myself with the {now much more involved} world of Blogger, I began reading through old posts. It is strange to think some of those thoughts came out of my head. Some of the things I talked about honestly seem like they were written by a different person.

I was going through endless reflection and soul searching post-break up (Spring 2011) that I think I was an entirely different person then.

Regardless of any of that brain dump, I realized that I never finished the "3-part series" that I started about my friend's death. You can read about it here--Part 1: 9th grade: The day before State and Part 2: 9th grade: The days and weeks after State. I am going to attempt to finish this story.

The months and years after this life-changing event--the suicide of a friend--were somehow always defined by that event in some way. Whenever things got really difficult or I would find some insecurity I had harbored, it drew back to the fears I'd created surrounding this event. It shocks me to this day that I allowed myself to be defined by that event for such a long time.

My love for helping people work through their problems led me to choose Psychology and Family & Human Development as degrees in college. I wanted to fix people. I wanted to figure them out and fix them all so that people wouldn't have to hurt anymore.

You can imagine how this seeped into my relationships--particularly romantic ones. For a long time, I dated guys who I was ultimately just not that into and just wanted them to need me. Ew...that feels gross to say out loud. Over time, I moved on to guys who pushed me to be a better version of myself. Still to this day I am reminding myself to love for what is instead of how I think it should be. You can ask my boyfriend that I don't always do this very well, as he often reminds me that I've told him I accept all of him. {In these moments, I begrudgingly remember...}

The happy part of this drive to fix people was that my Human Developmental program at Arizona State required me to work in a developmental preschool on campus. It was in this classroom where I discovered I loved children...who knew? Soon enough, I zoomed off to Australia and took an internship in a special education preschool.  If you would've asked me in high school if I thought I was going to grow up to be a teacher--I would've laughed. I was convinced I was bad at teaching anyone (mostly because of failed attempts to teach an ex-boyfriend calculus). Anyway, I am rambling. Moral of the story was to say that all these life events lead me right to where I am today--helping young children with special needs find their potentials.

I'm glad I waited to end this little series because I obviously hadn't reached a point in my life where I could fully process this difficult memory and its effect on my life. It is also kind of astonishing to see how this event, in part, led me to where I am today in such a positive way. The best part of writing this 3rd phase in the story 2 years later is that I no longer feel defined by this event.

Please hold your applause.

I'm baaaaack...

I forgot I even had this thing. In September 2011, I deleted myself from the online world. Closed down my Facebook and stopped reading my Google Reader blogs.

As I was doing all my soul searching that summer, I realized I was comparing myself to everyone I was reading about online. It was such a vicious cycle day-after-day. Everyone else seemed to be having more of something that I wanted.

"Sally lives a perfect life--beautiful children, loving husband, immaculate house with infinite time to make endlessly adorable DIY home decor."

I mean, come on, no one really lives like that. I have finally reached a point of maturity where I can recognize that. Thank goodness. It really is quite a relief. I am now back in the Facebook world and finally looking at things in a new light--wow, I actually have the job I went to school for and a great life and managed to have no children.

High five to myself.

Something happened to me this summer--or maybe slowly over the past two years--that has drastically changed me. Maybe that's just called growing up, but it feels so good. I am definitely living the time of my life right now and feel more myself than ever before. I feel like I am who I want to be (yet still a work in progress) and feel okay in my own skin.  I feel like I have mellowed out significantly--to the point where I can't imagine how insufferable I was to deal with before now.

Thank you to everyone that has stuck it out with me.

I started a real job last year as a preschool special educator just south of Seattle. I earned a real paycheck along with real stress. At my lowest point, I even had to take some over-the-counter pills to help me fall asleep because my mind would constantly race about my classroom. However, by the end of the year, I would just start planning behavior plans as I was laying in bed and would fall instantly to sleep. Glad I mastered that one.

Over the past few weeks, I have been searching preschool and special education blogs as inspiration for next year. I feel like I have a much better shot at being the teacher I want to be next year than I ever had last year. In all honesty, I can't tell you what happened most of last fall. My mind has literally blacked it out. My students survived through the end of the school year with no major injuries, and learned how to sing a song about toothbrushing. Success.

One blogger talked about all the different hats she wears as a special educator, and that really struck me. Another relief that I am not the only one who feels like I have to walk in many different shoes throughout each day--sometimes two different shoes at the same time. I spent most of the year wondering which pair of shoes I needed to wear at which different time...so much so that I never stayed in one pair of shoes long enough to feel like I broke them in.

Point of this story--> I am going to focus on unravelling these different roles I need to play as a teacher and a special educator over the next year via this blog. Feel free to join me on the journey.